When pondering the most defining feature of authentic femininity, the quest for answers invariably leads back to sensuality. That ephemeral, soft, beguiling and mysterious essence that is both erotic and wide-eyed, subversive and untouchable. There’s an innocence to its expression – and don’t we all crave something uncomplicated, yet potent as the greatest pleasure?
However timidly, I have embarked on a mission to break open the secrets of sensual allure – a quest that’s had me fixated for almost 20 years. And why not? A woman in possession of this quality has something inherently electric, healing and transformative – who wouldn’t admit to wanting a little of the same? Her manner is nothing contrived and put on, but rather cultivated through experiences with humanity, sex and life – the pillars of her own erotic knowing. Her confidence radiates from the core and one glance in your direction downloads all life’s answers.
Although we associate a sensual woman with one who moves seductively and eats suggestively and slowly, what gives those motions power is her responsiveness to these sensations. When she’s angry, she will scream. She will shake and stomp her feet. Maybe not right away, but you can bet she’ll embody these feelings when the time is right – and walk away more luminous for it. To emanate sensual power, you also have to hone your registry to life’s predictabilities and surprises. When you harness your emotions and understand that they merely need to move, they will no longer control you. You will be liberated from any rigid withholding and your body will move with the languidness that it always desired.
Sensuality is a twitch of the lip, the rise of an eyebrow or the uninhibited guffaw when a moment moves you. It’s seeing at once the poetry and tragedy in beauty, the ecstasy and reverence in pain. It’s being OK with being affected and bringing down the walls that had people fooled that you are tough. It’s just allowing yourself the magic of what’s going on. Without rationalising. Without deflecting away… and just feeling.
So how does one begin to be more responsive? To fully explore and intimate a sensual essence means to dive deep into your vulnerable parts. When you know the colour of your soul beyond identity – and know how to navigate your raw emotion and all feelings without masks, then an honest beauty can’t help but move throughout you. Sensuality is using your body to respond to the world in every moment, rather than withholding your reactions through pious self control. Be a canvas of awareness and instinct, so in tune with life that it can’t help but reverberate through you – and shake out negativity, rigidity and constraints.
Here are 3 ways to start tuning in:
- When something angers or saddens you, attempt to disconnect from the stimulus and just focus on your body. Where does the sensation and the energy reside? How does it move? What colour is it?
- Allow this energy its fullest expression. Do you want to scream? Growl? Stomp? Sing? Curl up? Repeat the expression, like your own intuitive dance, until you feel lighter and more liberated.
- Enjoy the spaciousness that has been revealed and follow the movements of this new, light and erotic energy with your body.
When you are so free and courageous that you let all of life move through you (knowing your feelings can only hurt you if they’re stagnant), then you’re awarded with the aforementioned sensuous delights: the rolling hips, the languid vocals and arresting eyes.
Losing yourself in the moment of exquisite simplicity, you know that the latest rapture is only at the tip of what life has to offer.
Voila, you’re a goddess.
Image via Vogue Germany.