We are obsessed with being beautiful.
Hair dyes, dresses, gym, make-up… so why do many women still face the world feeling shut down and insecure?
We often hear that confidence comes from the inside – yet we seldom hear of the techniques that actually work.
“Believe in yourself”, they say – sure, ok… but how the heck do you actually do that.
“Love yourself” – well what the f-k does that even mean?
“Back yourself” – ok, well how? At the moment, I’m feeling kinda shit.
I know this internal dialogue all too well. My own anxieties and helpless inability to overcome them has been a source of much frustration to the narrative of my life. People don’t think you should feel small and doubtful when you have things going for you – whether it’s beauty, wealth, a gorgeous family or even fame. They think that you should suck it up, because you have it ‘easy’.
But our inner workings are so much more complex than being externally satisfied. Tainted messages of our worth from childhood, fuelled by comparisons and perceived failures against the world in our latter years, means our true happiness takes much more gumption and careful navel gazing to unpack than just “getting on with it”. We resist therapies – traditional and alternative – lest they become financially exhausting and don’t even work.
Yet undeterred, in my quest for happiness and security I’ve tried it all. From the conservative to the bizarre, I’ve chanted, coached and changed my way through a whole heap of internal mess. And it has taught me a lot – primarily about the stuff that doesn’t work. Still, I extracted the rare golden gems that did.
Here is what I have learnt:
– Following nature’s ebbs is wise… and so does knowing that human nature can defy it
– “Spirituality” and “meditation” are only a part of the puzzle
– Even when you go out and “do” things, you can still remain sacred
– Being a woman is a powerful experience… especially when you embrace your femininity in full
– Feminine energy is the most transformative force of earth, yet somehow the most misunderstood and bastardised
– Feminine energy is what nourishes women and illuminates men – yet we are not taught how to truly utilise it
After my many years of experimentation (and working with over 100 people in this field), I am actually beginning to get how to tap into this powerful force. I will never pretend that I know how to completely surf this vast and mysterious ocean, but I am confident I have a pretty good grasp on the board.
These theories have proven themselves time and time again over my decade as a life coach. What began as a generic offering to help people achieve their life goals became a potent, transformative and very unique program.
Suddenly I was flooded with new female clients – successful, empowered and strong in so many ways – yet screaming on the inside and desperate to feel better. They wanted to be magnetic, alluring and sexy in a way that had meaning. Sick of playing roles, they wanted to feel alive, sensual and inspired.
And so, The Art Of Being Sexy was born. I referenced this name from the fact that self cultivation is an art form, yet every woman is still a masterpiece. I believe that being truly sexy is synonymous with feeling happy. The process each client underwent included a mindful tending of friendships, a transformation of her body, revolutionising her love life and bringing excellence to her inner world. Within weeks, each woman blossomed by understanding what makes her truly valuable and beautiful in this world – and walked away with full confidence to share these gifts magnificently with everyone around her.
Whatever we were doing, it worked.
Years later, those women would run into me, grab my wrist and excitedly utter – “Our coaching saved my life”. “This work saved my marriage”. “I still remember what we spoke about in our sessions”. “I still use those tools you taught me everyday”. “Will you please come back?”
What is it about this uniquely female-centered work that so resonates? Perhaps it’s not cliched, it’s lacking fluff and aimed at practicality. Throughout the years, as well as experimenting on myself (and largely working out the cures for my anxiety and neuroses), I achieved the highest qualifications in coaching, hypnotherapy and NLP. I read, I trained, I practiced, worked with mentors and downloaded the techniques into a practical guideline of common sense, skills, tools and practices. I stripped away what failed and only focused on what worked to create immediate transformation, time and time again.
So what are those things that work to instantly light up your personal, professional and romantic life? Ahh, well for that, you have to come to my workshop 🙂
There is very much a unique set of principles and formulas that will help each woman shine more brightly and get what she wants. It could be your Prince Charming (aka a lasting, strong and genuine relationship). Or a flow of clients and business from simply being in your truth. Or just more sparkle, dazzle and charisma that transforms your social life.
I am still totally shy, introverted and a little scared – but the truth is, it no longer stops me.
Because as experience goes, if you just share the work that works, likely someone will thank you later.
The Art Of Being Sexy is a 2 hour workshop for busy women, packed with practical tips on managing men, enjoying your body and smiling at life’s challenges – delivered in a straight-shooting, practical and entertaining format.
Registrations for the Saturday, December 6th workshop are almost complete, with the last remaining tickets available here.
This class will run again on:
Saturday December 20th,2014 (10am – 12pm)
Saturday January 17th, 2015 (10am-12pm)
Saturday January 31st, 2015 (10am – 12pm)
Tuesday December 16th (6pm-8pm)
Please email me on firstname.lastname@example.org to register your interest for the upcoming dates and I’ll email you first preference seats as soon as tickets are released.
Header image by Mikael Jansson, Vogue, March 2015. Author’s portrait by Susan L’Estrange.